LARD^SSI0'S LOSERS 2011-2012 BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA........

Question

- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS -

LARD^SSI0, THE GREAT ONE ( me ), has been blessed with immeasurable talent, a worldwide media empire, the adoration of millions and an over abundance of modesty. Before we delve into this years edition of Bowl LOSERS, I want to express thanks to those who have always been there for THE GREAT ONE. The following have always offered support and good counsel when called upon. I think of them as LARD^SSI0'S WINNERS .............

1) DERIK LATTIG - After meeting Derik in Jerry Jones private suite at Cowboy's Stadium, I knew this guy had what it takes to make it in THE LARD^SSI0 business, or show business as it is known to some. I hired him on the spot to head the New Projects division at LARD^SSI0 WORLDWIDE MEDIA INC. Derik has never dissapointed and has developed a new reality series called AMERICAN PINUPS. His latest can't miss HIT SHOW is based on the lives and work of several beautiful retro style pinup models. THE GREAT ONE expects great things from Derik......Have a look at this trailer for more details.....American Pinups! www.americanpinups.tv

2) MAD MATT SPORTA - My Man MATT.... When THE GREAT ONE needs an inside look at College/Pro Football games, I send the G-5 for MAD MATT SPORTA. Together we have bankrupted Las Vegas three times, but who is counting ??? Remember THE HAMMERDOWN IN COLATOWN last year, or USC/CLEMSON the last three years ??? MADD MATT is my MUSE........WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Go see MATT at........MADMATTSPORTA www.youtube.com

3) RIVALS - I want to thank all of my employees at RIVALS and YAHOO SPORTS. You guys tried hard this year, but we still have a long way to go before we can earn the respectability enjoyed by SI/ESPN and the HILLBILLY GAZETTE. Special mention to Pat Forde, Mike Huegenin and David Fox......You guys gave a decent effort this year, but as stated in your contract, you will be required to write your own material in 2012 and stop filching from THE GREAT ONE. Now beat it and get to work......What am I paying you for anyway ???

- LARD^SSI0'S LOSERS 2011-2012 BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA -

Hello and welcome to the 2011-2012 LARD^SSI0S LOSER'S BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA.......Can I get a WOOOOOOOOOOO ???.........AMEN. 2011 provided an exciting season of CFB and once again proved the superior intellect of THE GREAT ONE. I have preached for years that no conference can compete with THE SEC, that TX./OKIE and the rest of THE IRRELEVANT 12 are KAPUT, that TOSU/WISKY/MICHIGAN and the SPARKLES of THE LITTLE 10 are PRETENDERS, that SCAL/OREGAMI and the rest of THE PUNCHLESS 12 are little more than West coast SISSIES, That THE BE and THE ACC would compete for worst conference dishonors, that ND is a SHAM CFB program, that FSPEWWW/MIAMUH/and UF are FINITO. Ted Williams has nothing on THE GREAT ONE, I'm batting an even thousand........................ Now it's time for LARD^SSI0'S BEEF.........Losing teams (UCLA) in Bowls ??? UF, TOSU and other barely above .500 teams receiving bids ??? The sheer number of meaningless Bowls ??? It's almost enough to cause THE GREAT ONE to give up on CFB altogether. Instead, I have decided to call a meeting with the commissioners of all major conferences ( except the ACC ) and the AD's of each member school. I will propose a playoff format and offer to televise the entire event via LARD^SSI0 INTERNATIONAL MEDIA INC.'s new television network. THE GREAT ONE will solve this madness once and for all. And what of The ACC ??? The MAC will exchange places with these CLOWNS. The ACC proved once and for all that they do not belong in D1 Football. Speaking of the ACC.....On to the LOSERS..........

1) THE ORANGE BOWL -

WVU ABSOLUTLY FREAKING DESTROYS CLEMSON 70-33 ..........THE GREAT ONE, LARD^SSI0, ( me ) is proud to present the number one LOSER for the 20011-12 CFB Bowl season. This extreme dishonor goes to the CLEMSON TIGRESSES who managed not only embarrass themselves, but also served to cement the ACC's position as the worst major CFB conference. Like the SUGAR Bowl, I want to know how in HELL could either of these LOSERS got into a BCS game ??? As with The SUGAR Bowl, I watched the first 10 minutes of the game, then changed over to River Monsters. I checked the score 45 minutes later and WVU ran it in on the last play of the first half to go up 49-20......THE GREAT ONE can assure you that I did not miss a single play of the second half, which proved to be as bad as the first for the TOOTHLESS TIGRESSES .......I said all year CLEMSON was over rated ( In fact, dear reader, if you will kindly refer to LARD^SSI0'S LOSERS WEEK Xll, you will note that THE GREAT ONE predicted CLEMSON would lose their last three games ... Well they lost 2/3 ) ......LARD^SSI0, RIGHT AGAIN.......WOOOOOOOOOOO................CLEMSON now stands ALONE as the LOSER in the worst beating ever administered to a Conference Champion and participant in a BCS Bowl game. And God forbid we forget the recipient of the Bobby Dodd National Coach of the year award, one DABO BIEBER. Coach BIEBER is well known for his past cheer leading and locker room dancing experience. Coach BIEBER will be utilizing these talents to earn a living within 24 months as the CLEMSON fan base ( well known for running off Coach Ken Hatfield after a 9 win/bowl victory season ) has had just about enough of this joker............DABO BIEBER is also known for his recruiting and At this rate, if CLEMSON can recruit another 1/2 dozen, 5 STAR players, to go along with the ones signed last year, they may only lose by three TD's in next years bowl.......... Now THAT will be a real COACH OF THE YEAR performance.

2) THE OUTBACK BOWL -

MSU over UGA 33-30..............Congratulations are in order for the 2011 SEC EAST CHAMP UGA BULLPUPS. You were the only SEC team to lose to a LITTLE 10 team in the SEC/LITTLE 10, 3 game showdown Jan. 2. Everyone on the planet, or the SEC which qualifies as the football planet, knew that you backed into the SEC EAST title and even though the delusional bare gummed fan base argued to the contrary, I, LARD^SSI0, THE GREAT ONE, knew that UGA was a mere pretender. Let's see....... you are up 16-0 against the 1/2 ass SPARKLES of MSU and let them come all the way back to steal a win from an SEC foe. The BULLPUPS have embarrassed themselves and the SEC for the last time. I just got off the phone with Mike " The Mensch " Slive " and gave him the go ahead to initiate trade talks with the ACC.I am prepared to accept FSU or MIAMUH for the BULLPUPS. The SEC will get the short end of the deal, but neither of these lowly ACC teams will ever win enough games in the SEC to qualify for a bowl. Hence, the opportunity to lose in embarrassing fashion, to teams like the MSU SPARKLES will be removed from the table forever. Please join me in welcoming UGA to the ACC. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

3) THE GATOR BOWL -

UF over TOSU 24-17..........This is the only semi major, or what used to be considered a semi major bowl that I seriously considered leaving off the LOSERS list, because neither team deserved a bid. However, after a nanosecond of consideration, I knew that could not be. In a rare DOUBLE LOSER GAME, both teams are deemed LOSERS . Let's examine TOSU......2011 was quite a year for the Cheats of Columbus. First, they were involved in the worst LITTLE 10 cheating scandal of all time ( all correctly predicted by THE GREAT ONE mind you). TOSU then cut a deal with the NCAA and ran Coach TRESSES out of town in a seemingly sincere gesture of appeasement to the NCAA. Well it all turned out to be a SCAM of OHIOAN proportions when they turned around and hired UNCLE DISTURBIE MEYER aka Capt. Thorazine. This is the same BUM that ditched UF last year because of mental health issues and the desire to spend more time with his family. TOSU deserves whatever they get, in this case, it will be another Coach within three years.............

Answer 1

Gaturd guy...

FSU had a defense that finished #4...beat a decent Notre Dame team and his beloved Gaturds...

A blow hard flack that spews his personal bias over the boards like people really give a flack.

But...FSU has now won four bowls in a row...Wisconsin, WVU, South Carolina, and Notre Dame...
Originally posted on Aggie Sports Forum by Roady.

Answer 2

How dare you address THE GREAT ONE in this impertinent manner ??? Let's see your take on CFB and then we'll see who the blowhard is.
Originally posted on Aggie Sports Forum by Lardassio.